Wednesday, March 25, 2015

Atlanta bound

We got up and leisurely and left "South of The Boarder".  We drove the better part of the day and fit in some roadschool.  It was good.


I need to share that we discovered this App I bought way back when we got the RV that tells us where truck stops are that have RV islands (easy places for RVs to get gas that is not with the big semis), if they have propane, weigh stations, it also tells you where all the state parks, city parks, KOAs, etc and not only links to their websites but it has reviews of people who have stayed there AND exactly how many miles you are from those places while driving.  We had never used it before this trip besides goofing around with it.  I can't even begin to tell you how important this app became to us.  I think I paid $9.99 for it, but it was worth so much more to us.  We discovered how worth it it was when we got close to Atlanta and needed gas and we were within the radius that they no longer build truck stops.

I also need to share that on the first day of travel we weighed the rig and the car with us in it.  We were overweight both inside the RV on the back axel and we were towing over capacity.  A combined 700lbs.  This was not cool.  My dad said we would be fine just to be smart about driving and our friends who did this before us said they were 1500lbs over weight but weren't towing.  Ugh.

Getting gas in a big RV that is towing a car is a pain in the ass every single time IF you aren't at a truck stop and even then it will likely be difficult anyway.  It was about 4pm and we needed gas and we drove around in a circle trying to come in at the right angle to pull into this fast station.  This sort of action requires you to drive around entire city blocks so you can come in on the right side of the gas station.  You can't just do a u-turn in the middle of the street, and you aren't always lucky enough to find a big parking lot to turn around in on that side of the road from the gas station.  Getting gas in Atlanta took about an hour and took us into sun set.

We get back on the road and head to our camp ground which was about 13 miles north of downtown.  We had to drive through the downtown.  Fortunately it was Saturday and traffic wasn't horrible at this time but it was fast and tight and of all things, we lost the brake lights on the dolly.  By the time we got to our campground Jon's hands hurt from gripping the steering wheel so tight for so long.

The campground which had great reviews was not great.  It was a park full of full-timers.  They were so close together our awning was nearly touching the people next to us.  The only good thing was that it was not very far from our destination for the next day and there were several auto parts stores near by so Jon could fix the break lights.

The next day we hit the Atlanta Aquarium.  It was the largest tank I've ever seen.  It was quite incredible, but I have mixed emotions about these types of places so kudos to the PETA folks who spend so much time protesting these facilities.  (that's another blog) After the Aquarium, we ran back home to let Buoy out and find some parts to fix the brake lights. Then we went to find some BBQ recommended by our friends.  It was a good day.




Jon fixed the brake lights, we went to bed ready for a long day of driving toward TX.

Tuesday, March 24, 2015

The trip…..

Jon pushing the ice off the slides so we can pull away.   Note he is standing on the TOP of the ladder which was sitting on a thick layer of ice


The day before we left Virginia the side roads and pretty much everything were still covered with a thick layer of ice.  We pulled out of Dam Neck after removing ice from everything.  The dog lead was buried under two inches of  packed snow and ice…..I dug it out for about 20 minutes by jamming a broken broomstick into the ground over and over and over again.  That was fun.  A random act that is burned in my memory.

We parked the RV in Aunt Judy's driveway that night so that we could pick up Jon's guns (which we ended up leaving behind) and say our good-byes.  It was BITTER cold.  The next day, Jon took the RV back to the trailer place to retry getting all the lights and whistles working on the tow dolly.  This could have been completed earlier in the week had we not had the weather that we did.  So that took us until about 5pm.  When we finally hit the road, it was still day light.  We took off out of Suffolk and headed south. It was awesome to watch the snow go away.



Our first stop was "South Of The Boarder"!  The giant "Pedro" on I-95 just south of the North Carolina boarder.  It was late when we got in and the sign in the office of the campground office there said "OPEN" which they were intact not.  (This sort of negligence becomes a problem when someone driving an RV and towing a car on a dolly that can not go in reverse, pulls up too close to something and has to unhook everything to get out.  Luckily this only happened once 2 hours into the trip at a truck stop but Jon decided to reverse anyway….. the sound the dolly made was horrifying and it only moved about 3 inches.)  So Jon pulled around and got me as close as I could to the hotel on the property where I was to get the access key to the campground and check in.  It was cold but I was wearing my new running shoes and got to try them out:-) As I approached the hotel lobby it looked very inviting.  Retro style, sheik furniture, fire in the fire place…...I secretly hoped that we wouldn't be able to get into the campground and would be forced into a hotel room for the night.  (Which would never happen) Then I opened the tinted glass door.  The smell hit me.  The furniture was definitely vintage retro.  Certainly the original as was the carpet which as you can imagine smelled pretty bad.  I checked in, it was about 10pm and the dude at the counter insisted on seeing my military I.D. as I requested a military discount on our space….. I had left my Purse in the RV that was park 1/4 away because Jon couldn't get too close for fear of having to unhook the dolly if there wasn't enough space….. Off I ran again in my new shoes.





We got in the campground, spent the night, and got up the next morning heading to Atlanta or bust!  Our first night down went well.

Friday, February 20, 2015

Leaning forward into adventure.

I wasn't sure if today would ever arrive, and who knows where today will end. ....we have had plans all week but this darn weather has mutilated them.

Yesterday as I was driving past Mt. Trashmore covered in ice and snow the sun was setting behind it.  It was a breathtaking sight for a hill made of garbage.  It brought back memories of  my first venture into the world on my own ...... The feelings of leaving....... We will see Mt. Trashmore again.  We will see you too.

We are destined for Atlanta today.  Jon is anyway.  I'm destined for anywhere our water pump isn't going to freeze and we can hook up to city water for easy showers.  That said......

This weather has been rough.  Jon of course missed it by getting stuck on the ship.  He did CQ though and finished up his last flight typical C-2 fashion- broken plane.  (Lucky for us it was fixable, otherwise he'd still be out. ) We spent several days with frozen fresh water tank, water pump, and I suppose pipes.  Even the bath house at the campground had frozen drains so showering there wasn't even a good option.  (It would pool around your feet and the campground manager was pouring antifreeze in them to thaw them so others could shower......um.....yeah)

We spent the night in Suffolk in Aunt Judy's driveway. Papa Lee has been kind enough to store Jon's guns for him here while we were living on base.  So this morning we are regrouping, Jon is checking out of his command, reorganizing the weight under the RV, picking up the tow dolly, (we had breaks put on it and it wasn't ready yesterday) and blowing this popscicle stand!  Fingers crossed this goes well........I'm a little nervous at the weight we are towing.  Prayers please!

Like a comet pulled from orbit,
As it passes a sun.
Like a stream that meets a boulder,
Halfway through the wood.
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you,
I have been changed for good

It well may be,
That we will never meet again,
In this lifetime.
So let me say before we part,
So much of me,
Is made of what I learned from you.
You'll be with me,
Like a handprint on my heart.
And now whatever way our stories end,
I know you have re-written mine,
By being my friend...

Like a ship blown from its mooring,
By a wind off the sea.
Like a seed dropped by a skybird,
In a distant wood.
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you,
Because I knew you,
I have been changed for good.

Thursday, February 5, 2015

Prepare for the worst…..it's never that bad

I like to think of myself as a glass-half-full kind of girl.  I prepare for the worst case scenario and 99.9% of the time whatever the scenario ends up being is not anywhere near what the worst case scenario was that I made up in my head.  Thinking this way annoys Jon.  I think it helps me stay positive and find the bright side of not so bright situations easier.  So think for a minute all the 'worst case scenarios' for living in a 32 ft camper with 5 people and a CRAZY puppy (who I don't really like very much in his current life stage.)

1.) Everyone gets sick - puking and diarrhea at the same time with one toilet
2.) Baby turns on gas to stove and the entire RV explodes
3.) Temp drops, pipes freeze we are without water at 3 am when everyone is pooping and puking while Jon is gone.
4.) RV tips over in a random wind storm with us in it.
5.) Jon leaves us alone in the RV to fend for ourselves for a week while he goes to a pretty little island on the Eastern Shore and I lose my mind and admit myself to the psych ward at NMCP.
6.) The dog gets diarrhea and craps all over everything.

Most of those scenarios crossed my mind at some point, and then when they happened it wasn't so bad:

1.) Everyone got sick but only one at a time and luckily Jon was already on his pretty little island and he got to be sick alone.
2.) Freddie turned the gas on to the stove and the whole RV filled up with propane while we were still in our PJs one day (when we were still feeling icky from being sick) I shoved everyone outside into the mud and called Jon who reminded me to turn off the main propane valve.  I spun around in panic circles about 15 times and then finally noticed the stove knob was turned.  That was pretty scary.  We now have safety covers on the stove knobs.
3.) The hose froze one morning when Jon was gone,  the temps were not supposed to dip below 32 degrees so I did what I was supposed to do and turned on the reserve tank but the water pump wouldn't work.  We were only without water for about 30 min.  That night I filled up a pitcher of water to use to flush the toilet in the middle of the night and our hot water pot to assure ample amounts of coffee in the morning because the water pump was still not working.  THEN Rudy's stomach bug came back right as we were going to bed…… By midnight, I had used up the water in the pitcher to flush the toilet after him and my option was going to be to tap into my coffee water or head to the bathhouse to fill up.  After Rudy threw up one last time, he turned and said "mama can you get me a damp cloth to wipe my mouth with?" and out of habit I grabbed a cloth and turned on the faucet and out came water!!!   The water pump that had not worked all day decided to pump.  God saw me about to lose it and intervened. Not a good time to test my patience. Praise Him!  
4.) We moved to a different campground on a different base and we are at the beach and not protected by any trees. We have had some wicked winds blowing the rig so hard that it rocks and feels like we could tip.  It freaks me out.
5.) Jon left us for the week for FCLPs and I did lose my S*** far too many times while he was gone but because of awesome friends and small group who prayed for me I managed to keep it together.
6.) The dog peed in my running shoes.

That sums up the last two weeks.  Between those situations we had a lot of really great stuff happen.  The day after Jon got home we moved out of the horribly depressing and muddy campground at Little Creek to the one at Dam Neck on the beach, our awesome neighbors threw us a going away party, we celebrated Ella's birthday with great friends, Ella and Rudy earned their first stripe on their belts in Jiu Jitsu, Ella turned 9, and Buoy lost all four of his needle-sharp canine teeth!
Jon driving us away from our muddy mud hole.

Dam Neck……much much better. No mud.

Ella's birthday lunch!

Ice skating after the birthday lunch

Freddie at JiuJitsu


9 year old Ella 


Ella and Gustavo Machado after getting her stripe


Rudy receiving his stripe.  

He takes it very seriously.  He is so proud!







Sunday, January 18, 2015

Life In The Camper

I had this very long blog entry that documented our week of packing and moving and it disappeared and I'm very upset.  I supposed I have to re-do it while the memories are fresh but man…..

Anyway, people keep asking how camper life is going, why we choose to move into it early and call us crazy for choosing to live this way.  We may be a little nuts for choosing this.  It's certainly not as spacious as a house but it is essentially a house with all the modern conveniences (except that our shower sucks) plus wheels.  A large large number of people do exactly what we are doing now.  In fact, if you go to any base campground  90% of the people on them are living there full-time and have no plans to leave, or they are geo-baching it, or in limbo like us.  All of the folks we have encountered are officers too which is interesting.  Do you know how cheap it is to live in a camper at a camp ground?  That's mainly why we chose to move into it early, we can bank our housing allowance.   We have a month or so left here in VA and the date to leave keeps changing and has since the beginning.  Rather than guess and endure the stress of not knowing exactly the date of our departure without a house waiting for us on the other end, why not challenge ourselves to live minimally and bank our BAH?  Living small without a lot of stuff is very attractive to Jon and I.  We have everything we need in here, and an entire house in storage in CA.  Stuff is stuff.  Space is different.  Space is space, and well, that's why we will only live in here temporarily.

Depending on the hour or minute you ask how we are doing, the answer I give you will vary.  Our first week was rough.  There was a puker and after she recovered there was a snotty cougher and while that was happening there was a crap ton of rain.  Mama was a little grumpy, the dog is lucky to still be a Kalbach, and I'm terrified of everyone getting really sick.  (Lucky for everyone, Ella only had a 24 hour bug. )  We are very warm, very comfortable, and yes very close.  It's like living in a hotel room with all our stuff.  It's really not bad but at times it isn't the best.  What's cool about living in a small space is that it takes 30 minutes max to clean the entire house.   That includes dishes, kitchen, floors, bathroom, beds, and picking up.  Leaving our day to plan to spend time with the people we love and will leave soon.  It makes Jon and I test the length of our patience on one another and the kids.  We have some work to do.

I think what I dislike the most is the crappy weather and the campground we are at.  We are staying near our old house so the kids can be close to school.  The campground is a mud pit and almost completely full.  It's surrounded by woods on 3 sides and a main road runs past the fourth side.  I feel a little claustrophobic because of that.  We will likely move when the kids finish school next month (a week or two before we take off) to a less crowded one on the beach.

So don't worry about us.  We are doing great.  The clouds look to be moving out right now and I see the sun on the horizon.  We plan to hit the bowling ally and then have dinner with some of our navy family tonight.  Tomorrow we are having breakfast as a family at the laundromat (HA!), and in about 5 minutes I'm ordering a super cool collapsable bathtub to bathe Freddie in in our shower to solve that issue.(YAY!)  We have play dates and dinners with friends to look forward to, and I haven't even had a chance to  use my Instapot yet!  Tomorrow we plan to cook in that.  I've never used a pressure cooker before.  There is a lot of buttons and a decent size instruction book.  I need to study it so I don't blow up our house.  

Thursday, January 15, 2015

The Laundromat

I had mentioned awhile back that my biggest fears about this full-time RV living business for a few months were laundry and cooking in a small space.  It turns out those aren't so bad.  I have faced them and succeeded

The campground we are at has a laundry facility.  However, there the washer are small and the dryers don't dry and there is one other family who is always doing laundry and I'm always stuck waiting.  I got really fed up the other day and decided to try a real laundromat.

I don't think I have ever had to use a laundromat before. I think I have been in one before but never used it. In college I took my laundry home.  So, today I put on my big girl panties and hit the 'mat.  I went to one about a mile away and to my surprise it had a restaurant in it!  It was a total greasy spoon, but they had BEER!  So the beer was just Budweiser and Bud Light, but so what, there's beer and breakfast and crap food at the laundromat.  Why is this not a bigger market?

There are three different size/cost washing machines at the 'mat.  I was a bit perplexed on which to use so I just used the triple loader.  I realized after I paid $4.50 a load (for just two loads) that I could have used the giant washer for all of it for $5.75.  Then the dryers were huge and $0.25 for 4 min and it took about 30 min to dry.  I spent a small fortune on laundry and only an hour of my time there.  Next time I'll go an extra day and eat breakfast there or perhaps have some me time at the 'mat.  It's also a great place to get in a little school for the big kids once we start homeschooling next month.  Overall it was a pleasant, happy and exciting experience.  I like the the laundromat.  It's almost better than doing laundry at home.  I got it ALL done in an hour and folded and put away as soon as I got back.

For the hour I was there it was me and Freddie and a and full of there people.  Freddie entertained himself very well.  Watching his bunny swirl in the washer was exciting to him as well as opening and closing the washing machine doors 3 million times, pushing around the laundry cart and playing with a lego guy that was in the bottom of my basket.  His only fussy time was seeing his bunny swirl around the dryer.  Again, overall not bad at all.

I do think I almost had my purse stollen though.  Next time I'll leave it in my car.

My new fears are bathing Freddie and frozen freshwater hoses.







Thursday, December 25, 2014

Happy New Year!

This Christmas came upon us in a furry of busy times.  Between the kids' activities (Jiu Jitsu twice a week, church once, every day life, it's been crazy or maybe I'm crazy and great at excuses?  We made the first 13 days of Advent devotionals happen, that counts for something right?  If you know me, you know I hate being busy and rushed.  It was a total accident.

At first I was going to send out Christmas cards, then I came up with the excuss that our list is so long it's going to cost an arm and a leg in postage so I would send them to just a few close friends and family, and then it came down to sheer laziness because I have not quite got the hang of the three kid thing yet and I'm lazy, or perhaps very disorganized…… yeah, it's probably the disorganization combined with 3 kids thing.  I know there are people reading this with 4+ kids that sent cards out this year.  I know I've reached my kid limit especially with the new puppy.  So perhaps new years cards in the midst of packing or post packing….. yeah right.

My goal was to be done with all the Christmas prep by Dec. 1.Yep, we saw Santa on Christmas Eve and I bought my last gift Dec. 23 if you don't count the one we bought on the 24th after the Santa visit when someone requested something new and we wanted to fulfill that request in desperation of keeping the Santa spirit alive or perhaps avoid exposing the truth so close to the end and dealing with the fact that we, along with the world, are a bunch of big fat liars.

I admire all you anti-santa, anti-elf parents.  I wish I could start anew.  We have lied too long.  It's out of control.

So here are our lovely pictures and synopsis  depicting the major events of 2014 the cheap and lazy way. :-)  We hope this finds you happy, healthy, and with a new space/spaces for new addresses in your address book for the Kalbachs this year:-)




Our biggest most exciting news is that we all survived Jon's deployment!  He came home at the end of May.  Dividing simple duties like unloading the dishwasher, leaving the kids at home while I run to the grocery store, one more grown up in the house to enforce rules, etc, simply living life together makes life so much better.  I love him.  He's amazing, and I'm SO thankful he is home.

Rudder's "I'm sorry I just ate a diaper" face.
Jon was home for a month and a couple days when we had to say our good-byes to our best dog-child Rudder.  Just before Jon left Rudder was diagnosed with Canine oral melanoma (Cancer in his mouth) and he went through a couple attempts of surgery to remove it.  Around February we found out that the cancer spread to his lungs.   The next few months he spent with us we spoiled him rotten and we desperately needed him.to live to see Jon come home.  Jon was Rudder's favorite human, so Jon's homecoming for Rudder was extra special.  On the evening of July 3, (after the kids were in bed)  exactly 10 years to the day that Rudder came to live with us in Kingsville, TX, we had a hospice vet come to our home to help Rudder pass.   It was terrible.  We still mourn him terribly.
Rudder's last day.  Walking with his favorite human,


Our summer with Jon home was filled with playing outside in our wonderful little base neighborhood, SUPing, and kayaking on the lake by our house, and visiting friends.















Lake Bradford - Across the street from our house.
A small piece of Heaven.




In August we took a quick trip to CA to visit the Kalbach family and spent some time in Tahoe and San Francisco. Then a bit later in the month we took quick trip to OH to visit my sister.  (We only went to Mount Vernon driving with Freddie is NOT fun) stopping at the Natural Bridge in VA on our way there and on the way home we stopped at the flight 93 crash site in Shanksville, PA.  (If you ever drive the PA turnpike, I highly recommend you take the small detour and stop.)

Cousins in Tahoe


The water in the lake was SO shallow from the drought that we could let the kids play and not worry about them falling in over their heads.  




The kids:

Freddie turned ONE on August 11th!  He is running, playing, communicating, but not really talking yet.  He loves things with wheels, the movie Frozen, playing outside, and he LOVES his little Nike big boy shoes.  He finally sleeps through the night now!  (Knock on wood) He also loves to climb. Every time I turn around the kid is standing on the coffee table or dining room table.  What a joyous gift he has been to our family.



Freddie is happiest when he is higher than everyone else.
Typical



In September Ella and Rudy went back to school.  Ella is now in 3rd grade and Rudy 1st.  Both are growing like weeds.  You can read about Ella's health stuff in previous blog postings. But in short she is great with no new signs of disease!  Ella is very much like her dad.  Funny,
sweet, sensitive, and always kind and this year she has grown into herself even more.  (Rudy may not agree with the kind part)  She likes to read, draw, create, and imagine.  Rudy is constantly busy building and creating things, reading books, and crafting. He has lots of friends and I'm even catching wind of girls having crushes on him?! Ugh.  Both kids are practicing JiuJitsu and are training with some great people.  It's fun to watch my sweet little girl wrestle boys.  She's pretty fast and sneaky.  Rudy is quite good.





Here is a link to the kids Christmas Pageant this year at church.  Ella had a singing solo and a speaking part.  Rudy was a towns person and sang.  I'm super proud.

http://fpcnorfolk.player.netbroadcasting.tv/player/flash/fpcnorfolk?stream=childrenspageant.mp4

Reading a Christmas book to Rudy's class.



Rudy played t-ball in the spring and coach pitch this fall.  He  discovered a love for baseball.


Navy Life:

In June, not long after Jon came home, we learned that he had been picked up for Department Head which is an unpaid promotion, and a big deal.  It means he is going to be wearing a flight suit again and getting back into the C-2!  It was at least a month after learning of his DH selection that his new orders came…..The Navy is sending us to San Diego next year! This will be our first move out of Virginia in almost 10 years!  As of now Jon is to report in March to his new command.  Of course all good news with the Navy comes with a catch, the catch this time is that he will deploy in April…..(*%&$#!!!)  But, just for a couple of months.



The temporary home where we will grow VERY close:-) 
All that said, the Navy starts packing us early next month (I say next month but its happening in less than a week…..)  and we are moving into our new temporary home which is a 2014 Class C 31 foot Fleetwood Tioga Montera RV.  We will live in it here in VA through January and part of Feb.  When we travel cross country we are not exactly sure how much time we are going to have, but we do have some plans of places and wonderful friends to visit along the way.  We can't wait for the adventure!   Once we arrive in San Diego we have a SWEET spot reserved on the water in the camper for the first month we are there.  We know where we want to live and are holding out for the right house in a specific area so we don't know how long we will be in the RV homeschooling two kids with a toddler running around and of course a puppy……..  

The puppy….!!!!!  Buoy Luke Funland Kalbach, a Portuguese Water Dog like our sweet Rudder,  joined our family in mid November.  He is growing like crazy.  He is a smart little guy and reminds us of Rudder in a million ways.  Rudder and Buoy have the same mannerisms which is good because it makes me foresee that he too will be an amazing dog once he quits destroying our stuff.  The kids adore him.  He and Freddie are about the same age in dog years.  (You can also read that as = It's complete chaos around here.)


That's it.  The 2014 for the Kalbachs is almost over.  As always,  it was another year of God's amazing grace seeing us all through until the end.  The lessons He showed us this year we have learned over and over and over again, simply that through Him all things are possible.  We miss our families back home, we miss our friends who are spread so far and wide, and through missing them we see how lucky we are to have such great friends so close. We have been so busy and overwhelmed at times this year that I get knots in my stomach thinking about those I have not talked to for so long.  We love you all so much and think of you all the time.  We welcome visitors between now and our departure from VA, and once we get to CA.  There is sleeping space for one more in the RV;-)  We are really looking forward to our adventure across the country and feel so very blessed to do it together.

A few of our best neighborhood friends who we couldn't live without:-) 

Merry Christmas, best wishes for 2015, and may you be blessed with good health and a heart content with His love and grace every single day.

*** Check back soon, I'm sure with just a couple hundred square feet to take care of in January while it's 40  degrees and raining outside and I'm stuck in an RV, I'll have plenty of time to update this blog and humor you with laundromat and empty-propane-tanks-at-3-am experiences, and you'll be happy to be happy you're not me.  Cheers!  (don't let me fool you, I'm super excited for this adventure and equally terrified! )

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

1 Year follow-up and other stuff

Good news.

If you speak to me regularly or even hardly ever I'm sure I've barfed out how anxious I have been over Ella's one year post-op appointment with Dr. Fox.  I've had that hollow, sick, feeling in the pit of my stomach for a few months now anticipating what we would see/hear/learn about our sweet girl's condition one year later.

We went last week for the ultrasound.  I decided I need to go to radiology school because seeing the ultrasound and not knowing what I'm looking at is maddening especially when waiting for a week to sit with the doctor and read the results.  There was no calcification,  the top of the kidney looked typical for post surgery scar tissue or inflammation…. Her urine looked good, and her BP was 93/58.  Her BP has been consistently lower since the tumor was removed which is comforting.  It had always been high/high end of normal since they started documenting her BP at age 3.  Normal for her was 109/72 -116/75.

All of what we heard today was good news.

But…..
That dark, hollow, sick, feeling in the pit of my stomach that I hoped would go away is still lingering.  It was reconfirmed to me that this isn't over.  We will continue to follow up with urology bi-annually at least for another year.  Dr. Fox knows the pediatric urologist in San Diego that we will see and has great confidence in him.   She mentioned that we will get a CT of her abdomen to see if there are any more ganglioneuromas that have popped up along the path of her peripheral nerves surrounding her kidney and to use it as a baseline for future imaging.  I may have said that wrong but essentially it's totally possible for it to grow back on her kidney and/or new ones in other places.  Yuck.

Logically, after having the one tumor for likely most if not all of her life, and no others were seen in the imaging that was done prior to surgery last year, odds are slim that a new one will grow.  However,  this tumor is extremely rare and there isn't really enough data out there to predict or anticipate if her body will produce another tumor like this, not to mention, this type of tumor is very closely related to neuroblastoma, which those two pieces of knowledge are likely burning a hole in the lining of my gut.

I've discovered not just through dealing with Ella's health issues, but also observing dear friends who have children with health issues, that nothing, NOTHING makes you crazier than a sick kid.  Be it a super high fever, an autoimmune disease, cancer, or a broken bone, nothing makes us lose our s*%# more than feeling helpless against their illness.

I'm still an anxious mess.  I know that the best thing for me to do is to find that piece of scripture that I can chew on and swallow and let fill that burning hole in my stomach, so if you have some, share it with me, I need it….. and maybe a bottle of wine.

Moving on, that's what we will be doing…….

We are moving in February!  What?!  After 9 years here in Norfolk/Virginia Beach, the Navy is actually moving us to the one other location in the United States that Jon can do his job.  He made Department Head and is going back to flying the C-2 next year at VRC-30 in San Diego!   We are excited for the adventure.  He is excited to not deploy to super scary places like his last deployment, and excited to go back to flying actual airplanes.  He really enjoyed his last/current job with NSW.  It was an amazing experience for all of us.

Also, this past July we had to say good-bye to our most amazing dog child Rudder.   Our hearts are still so sad and our home just isn't the same.  In a moment of sadness, (also read as weakness) Jon and I decided to get another portuguese water dog puppy.  The puppy will be born this month and join our family in November.  Since making this commitment I have remembered what puppyhood is like and it's too late for me to retract my vote as all the people in our house are giddy with excitement.  I'm trying to get excited, but spending Labor Day at my sister's house with their adorable PWD puppy was a bit "real".  I realized there that I'll have two puppies soon as Freddie is in full on puppy stage as well.

That's all for now.  I'm going to go grab my Bible and see if I can find some tums.


Thursday, October 10, 2013

Finally exhaling......


Whew.

I've spent several weeks thinking about writing this to follow up with our adventuresome August.  It's been almost 2 months since Ella's surgery and I've finally sat down with the computer.  People continue to ask about her recovery and I'm sorry I have not done this sooner.  We thank you for your concern for our beautiful daughter.  Your love and prayers carried us through what has thus far been the most stressful and scary time in our lives.

Things/happenings are not as fresh in my memory as they were 8 weeks ago, but the basics are here.  I won't make you read all of this, before sharing that the tumor removed from her little body was benign.

The surgery day started easy.  Early morning drive to the hospital.  We left around 4:45.  We took her to pre-op where she changed into her hospital clothes.  Green top and pants covered in creepy clowns.  We sat and waited nervously for our next instructions as the room filled will little people whom I assumed were going in for tubes in their ears.  As the room got full one of our pastors from church, also my friend and who's daughter is a dear friend of Ella's. came to pray with us.   She also brought for Ella a purple prayer shawl that had been prayed over by our entire congregation at church meant to be given to people in times of need.  I was there the Sunday we prayed over the shawls.  Little did I know our family would need it.

Next we were walked into the room where all the beds were with all the people preparing for surgery.  Ella climbed into her bed and got to drink the happy liquid supposed to relax her.  It helped a little.  This is where the anesthesia guys came in and talked to us.  As we talked to them and took our eyes off Ella she was getting a little goofy from the meds which gave us all a little chuckle and relaxed us for a minute.   The surgeons came by and soon our girl was taken from us alone with strangers who promised to take wonderful care of her while they cut into her little body.  It was horrible. Horrible seeing her wheeled away, knowing how terribly scared she had to be.  My heart hurts still thinking about that moment.

Jon and I walked down to the waiting room and met up with Aunt Judy, my mother-in-law Mary Ann, and Rudy.  Soon to be joined by my dear friend Kim.  Every hour to hour and a half we expected to hear from the nurse in the OR with an update on how Ella was doing.  About 3+ hours after surgery began or they took her, as we were expecting to hear from the nurse, into the waiting room walks two oncologists.  My heart sank.  I almost fell out of my chair.  The first words out of his mouth were "hey guys, I know there is never a good time...." and all the air in the room was gone.  He proceeded to tell us that Ella was doing great and that they were just getting down to the tumor when they popped their heads in.  I was totally confused.  They had no news about the tumor.  That was a horrible scare.  They walked out of the room and Jon started to cry.  We all lost it.

The hours passed slowly yet the time also flew by and suddenly we saw her anesthesia people wheeling her in her bed down the hall at a regular walking pace.  Them not running told me she was alive and stable.  I jumped out of my seat and ran to the hall walking at a distance behind them as they proceeded to push her to the PICU.  One of the guys noticed and turned around to  reassure me she was doing fantastic and that they would come get me shortly.  Had he not turned around when he did I felt like I was going to break out running after her.  I was feeling super crazy and panicked.  Surly they knew this.

We sat back down in the waiting room and Dr. Fox came in.  She politely asked the other folks in the room to leave. I'm pretty sure I stopped breathing. She shared that the good news was the initial biopsy said the tumor was not malignant.  She continued to explain the surgery.  They were able to save most of the kidney by taking just the upper pole, but did have to take the adrenal gland because the tumor had been attached to it as well.  When she finished, we all cried including Dr. Fox who said she felt for us having a 7 year old of her own and she gave us all hugs.  The surgery went really really really well.

Next we went into the PICU where Ella stayed for 5 days.  At first glance she looked amazing for just having had a 4 inch cut made into her gut and dug in for the previous 6 hours or so. She had an epidural for pain control for the entire 5 days. He had two IVs, an arterial line, and a folly catheter.  She administered the pain meds herself as needed with a button.

She was not allowed to eat at all until her bowels woke up after all the narcotics.  This was horrible. She couldn't even  drink water.  One day as we watched TV and a Red Robin commercial came on she cried at the fries.  She was so hungry.  That day they started to let her have a little broth and crackers.  It didn't go well.  She slept off and on quite a bit for those 5 days and had no idea how many days she had been there or if it were night or day.

The days in the PICU were really hard.  It's a serious place in there.  Scary might be a better word.  It's full of children, babies if you will, who are really in critical shape.  As Ella recovered and we watched her kidney function go back to normal and we rose to see the happenings around us, we felt almost guilty that we would leave that scary place and recover and leave behind these other kids who had a much longer road ahead of them, or perhaps a short road.

While there we had a few visitors.  The Sunday that we were in there, 1 week after Freddie was born, he was celebrated at church with a rose on the alter.  So on Monday Hunter Johnson and her mom came to visit baring another prayer shawl, Freddie's rose for Ella to enjoy and some craft stuff.  Our old neighbor Elaine came by, and at some point, all of Jon's troops came by.  The PICU staff allowed them all in Ella's room and they posed on either side of the bed for a picture.  This made Jon cry that they came.  I arrived that day as they were about to leave and a couple of the guys had tears in their eyes imagining how it could be their daughter there.

When finally taken upstairs to a regular room Ella was allowed to start eating.  At first it was a liquid diet, or as I like to call it, a high fructose corn syrup diet consisting of neon jello, apple juice, foul smelling, luke warm chicken broth, and a very red popsicle.  Considering high fructose corn syrup is hard on the kidneys and may cause kidney disease...... seriously?  (if you can't tell, this very much bothered me).  Of course she vomited every time she ate that crap.  Later when she got solid food, the apple on her tray (twice this happened ) had not been washed!

**For the record, the food quality is my ONLY complaint about NMCP and I feel bad about that, but it was pretty gross.  Our care there was beyond fantastic.

For 3 days in the regular room we had to fight with Ella about moving and walking.  She had to move and walk on her own so that her bowels would wake up.  She needed toots in the PICU and now we had to get her to walk  and poo in order to go home.   Getting her to walk was not fun.  It was really hard for her, she was in a ton of pain when she moved, but we had to make her.  Here she was perfectly fine before the surgery, and totally dependent on us and in major pain not fully understanding the gravity of what could have been in her body.  We sent her in there, now we were making her have more pain.  Her emotions were all over the place as were mine.  We cried together once when Jon was away.  Jon spent every night with her and I came with the baby during the day.  Jon was on top of everything.  He was a kind papa bear all over every doctor and nurse.  He is such an amazing dad.

One day Dr. Vandenboom came to visit.  He is her pediatrician who started the whole work-up.  He brought Ella a very nice teddy bear wearing a sailor suit.  He talked to me for a bit and I thanked him for listening to me on my first concern to him about Ella's BP.  He in turn thanked me and said he learned a lesson from Ella's case.  (He is a resident Dr. there)  He shared that as much as they are told to always listen to the parents that pediatricians are probably the worst at listening because parents are always over reacting at things.  He said he will always take parents concerns seriously because of us.  I hope he does.  He also continued to tell me that the final pathology was not yet back and that NMCP had never seen a case like Ella's that it was that rare.  Boom.

People were talking about the final pathology.  I even passed an oncologist in the hallway who told me they were waiting to hear still what the tumor was.  I was all "uumm..... no, the inital path. was benign so we are waiting to hear what the final says it was."  She was all "ummm...... that's the first I have heard of that."  She was one of the two oncologist that came in the waiting room the day of her surgery.  I hated that she knew us.  I did not want anything to do with those doctors.  I didn't sleep at all until the final pathology report came back the last day she was in the hospital.  I was a wreck thinking I had been given false hope and rejoicing over the wrong information. It was terrible.

It turned out that the tumor; a ganglioneruroma; originated on her adrenal gland.  It was a good thing that the surgery went the way it did with leaving most of the kidney and taking the adrenal gland.  Typically this type of tumor originates on a peripheral nerve and is pretty rare.  Even rarer is to originate on the adrenal gland and even more so on a child.  Not a whole lot of studies of cases out there about this.  This fact makes me crazy.  Really.

On the 8th day post surgery we came home.  We had a car full of stuffies, flowers, and things to do in a hospital bed.  We came home and Ella stayed on motrin for an entire day.  She refused all pain meds after that.  She had lost at least 5 lbs which is a lot on a 50lb skinny kid.  She walked a little hunched over for a week or so, protecting herself from stretching her incision too much.

2 weeks out or 3 weeks out (I can't remember) we went back to see Dr. Fox for follow up.  This time in the pediatric unit:-)  They ultrasounded both kidneys each of which seem to be exactly the way they hoped and working well.  She explained that the final path said the tumor had positive margins and that she felt it was a false positive because after they removed the tumor they went back in and took more of the kidney.  She said it is possible there are still some cells in there and it could grow back but she felt confident they got it all and that it likely would not be back.  Again there is not much research or cases out there like this so ....... this is something I can stress about.

They will monitor her.  She will have a big ultrasound in Nov. and then once a year from here on out.  IF the tumor grows back we will know in a couple of years.  sigh.....a couple of years......

Oh, I left out that this type of tumor makes its own hormone that will raise BP.  Yeah, her BP is back in a normal 7 yr old range!  It's thought that the tumor had been growing in her for at least 5 years.  

Other happenings...... She has started 2nd grade at a new school and riding the bus.  She is playing soccer, joined girl scouts, making new friends and continuing to amaze us with her braveness.

I would be a terrible parent if I didn't give the middle brother props.  The kid is and was amazing in the hospital each day that we drug him there.  Mary Ann kept him most of the time, but she was need there during the PICU stay as well.  Rudy is a great kid.

Freddie was SUCH a great distraction during all of it.  I can't imagine how we would have made it through this without him or with me still prego.

Now we are moving ahead.

Our friends, family, neighbors and our First Pres. church family are the reason we survived all of our stress in a somewhat graceful fashion. God answered the prayers you said for us and he gave us sleep, sanity, meals, and new friendships.  Thank you.

Next up in major life events in our family is Jon's 6 month deployment to an undisclosed location in a dangerous part of the world.  What a brave and amazing husband and father we have.  We are blessed.


Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Welcome to middle child syndrome Rudy!

God answered our prayers that our new little guy would arrive early.  Funny how God was totally down with my plan.  I'm praying that he is cool with the rest of it......

I don't know where to start so I'll start with John Frederick Kalbach is here!  He arrived Sunday morning, August 11,  happy, sweet, healthy, beautiful and so itty bitty compared to the last baby who is all kinds of a giant to me now!  (Talking about Rudy)   Delivery was fast and furious, as was Jon's driving to the hospital.  After mild back pain all day and then some contractions that were getting painful we decided we should just head on to the hospital planning to do some walking when we got there but didn't want to chance the traffic considering the weather and tunnel being closed.  No sooner did we turn the corner heading off base and my contractions REALLY picked up.  I told Jon to put his 4-ways on and just get there.  We caught every red light and Jon "cautiously" ran all but one of them.  When I got in the car my contractions were about 5 min apart, when I got to the hospital they seemed about 2 min lasting about a min each.  It was as horrible as labor is.  I did get an epidural and that's a story for another day..... a resident or intern did it.  It was a bad experience. In the end it worked.  I got to the hospital around 9PM, JFK was born about four hours later the following morning at 12:51 AM.  The threat of forceps was mentioned after two contractions of pushing, so I panicked and pushed him out immediately.
He is beautiful.  He looks exactly like Ella and Rudy did.

So there's Freddie, new and helpless.  Ella and her major surgery tomorrow, and happy Rudy.  Oblivious to most of what's going on.  Feeling a little left out.  Sweet Rudy.

We were released from the hospital Monday afternoon but had to meet with Ella's doctor first and were able to leave Freddie in the nursery with my dear friend Jessica (who is a NICU nurse at NMCP) while we went to Ella's pre-op appointment.  I may have mentioned before that the Pediatric Urology Clinic at NMCP is so new that it is not yet set up.  The corpsman, and ambiance of the clinic are not child friendly.  We were told when we showed up for the appointment that everyone had mostly gone home early that day.   All the rooms were empty and the corpsman put us in this room (check out the poster on the wall) ...... Dr. Fox came in and turned about 10 shades of red.  Poor Ella had no idea what the picture was of.  Something in it resembled a squid..... Jon and I got a good laugh.  Poor sweet girl.

For pre-op Dr. Fox explained the surgery to us.  Essentially they are taking the "tumor", which is surrounded by calcium, out of the kidney.  In doing so, the margins are very close to the kidney's collection system and she is hoping to not cut into that.  Doing so will make everything a little more complex.  

The tumor which is 4 cm in size, grows both inside and outside of her kidney.  It seems in the imaging that it has not become involved in the adrenal gland at all.  However, I have learned it's all impossible to see or believe anything until they get in there.  Dr. Fox has referred to this surgery a few times as "very complex."  This makes me nervous.  I was about to request that no interns or residents be involved in the surgery (after my recent experience with the epidural and Freddie's circumcision) but Dr. Fox had already made that call because of the "complexity."  Ugh. 

 On Tuesday we went back to the hospital for more.  Ella had to get blood drawn, and a PPD.  That was fun!  (not)  
Then Freddie had an appointment.  Jon promised Ella  he would donate blood to use "just in case" and also so he could get stuck with a needle too so that took some time too.   Next we met up with Dr. Fox who escorted us upstairs to meet with the child life specialist.  He played air hockey with Ella while Jon and I got to sit down with 2 pediatric oncologists.  It took all I had not to cry.  They were nice.  I hope I never see them again. After them, we sat down with the child life guy and he spoke with Ella about the events of the surgery day.  What the rooms will be like, what she will see, and etc.  She told us that she felt better about it all after he explained so much to her. 


By 3 PM we were exhausted.  Finally ate lunch and left.  All the time we spent in the clinic Freddie was with us and was good and easy as most 2 day old babies are.  I was the biggest mess of everyone, and continue to be.  
Sweet Ella is being so brave.  I can't even imagine what it will be like for her tomorrow.  I know how scared I would be if I were in her shoes.  

All that said, I mentioned hoping God would be totally down with the rest of my plan which I'll share and ask you to pray for with me.  

My plan for Ella:  Tomorrow morning at 5:15 am we arrive for Ella's scheduled 7:30 surgery.  Ella goes in being brave.  Surgery lasts 4 hours or less.  The biopsy of the tumor/mass/abscess (whatever it is, they like calling it a tumor now- I do not) comes back with a definite diagnosis of something benign that once removed we can put behind us.  There will be no cutting into the filtration system of her kidney and when she leaves surgery she leaves with most of her kidney minus the tumor, and the adrenal gland is not involved at all.   The oncology team will not be needed.  Ella will be ready to come home from the hospital in less than 5 days.  Then this will be behind us.  Ella will recover as quickly as kids do.  Start back to school on Sept 3rd at her new school and love it.  Happy, peaceful, boring ending to a scary story.
There will be no iffy details, no cliff hanging events, summer over. 

PLEASE pray for all of us tomorrow.  Especially for Ella, the three surgeons involved and everyone in the OR, and the folks in the lab doing the biopsy.  Thanks again for all of your love, support and being present for us during this time in our lives.  We love all of you and could not feel more blessed to have the friends, family, church family, and navy family that we do.  



Thursday, August 8, 2013

News, Surgery, Baby, Prayers......


This picture is from last summer at Lake Tahoe.  My girl is brave.

This morning was the meeting between all the specialists at CHKD who were going to look at Ella's case.  As I anticipated, I got a call from Dr. Fox shortly after she got to work which coincided with me just sitting down and explaining Ella's health issues to my OB.  I took the call while with my OB just long enough to get the major gist of the meeting which was:  All of the doctors there, including the one who specializes in kidney tumors etc. all concur that what is there is not a malignancy but rather a localized abscess.  Still I feel nervous about that, but this news kept me on a high for most of the day.

Then we called her back to talk about the next step.

Ugh...... So the next step just didn't seem like it could be THAT bad.  Infection/abscess seems like something you can just take antibiotics for or like something that a lay person like me would assume would not be a big deal.  But I guess like an abscess on your toe or mouth, it would need removed.

As it is still a better option than her having cancer (PRAISE GOD for that! )  It is going to require a major surgery.  Excuse me if none of what I say from here on makes sense, we have a TON of questions and it is all overwhelming:

She needs a partial nephrectomy. (removal of part of her right kidney)  Sometimes this can be done laparoscopically but because the abscess goes inside of the kidney,  Dr. Fox said that eliminates her as a candidate......?  So they will have to make an incision which would be about the size of Ella's hand, under her rib.  (My girl is itty bity and so are her hands, but relative to her little body her hand is quite large. ) The surgery is a big one.  There are risks.  Blood loss being one, long term urine leakage, blah blah what?!  I think it's the risks that are making me nauseous.
She could be in the hospital several days recovering.  She could have a stint for a month after.  She will probably have a spinal or epidural in order to keep her comfortable for a couple of days after the surgery.  (Unfortunately I've explained what an epidural is to her because I plan on having one when this baby comes....I suppose we will leave out that detail when it pertains to her)

Dr. Fox will be performing the surgery, and because it's a big surgery she won't do it alone, she will have at least one other urologist with her.

Jon and I are writing down our thousand questions.  We will talk with Dr. Fox again tomorrow to ask them.  Ella can have the surgery as soon as Aug 15th.  (One week from today)  That allows for two weeks before school starts.

Let's not forget the kicker.  Who here is due to have a baby in 9 days or less?  Part of the wonderfulness of this pregnancy and part of the reason we are having another child is because of Ella.  Her desire and begging for a baby brother or sister was one of the reasons that pushed us over the edge to decide to do so.  The other beautiful thing is her love for this baby. Her excitement and understanding of the miracle of life growing inside me is simply so wonderful.  She is SO excited for her brother to come, and so excited to be there when he does.  Of course she won't be in the room when he comes out, the plan was immediately afterward, but she needs to be there and she needs to have a chance to bond with him before she goes in for surgery.   I feel that also, after surgery, during hard times, babies simply make things better.  I know that for Ella who adores babies beyond anything in the world, this would be a benefit to her recovery...... Problem currently is that I'm not dilated.  Cervix is thinning, but that's about it.  My Dr. (Dr. Busche) is awesome.  She said if I come in next week and ask her to examine me she will strip my membranes and induce me.  She said I have a good reason.....criteria is that my cervix be "favorable".    Ideally, this baby comes tonight.  God's plan though.......

So that's what I know.  Likely makes very little sense and I'm sure I left a ton out.  We are so grateful for your prayers.  We are so lucky to have an amazing support network of friends, family, navy family, neighbors and church family.  We do ask for continued prayer for all of us.  Prayers for Ella and for her little brother to arrive sooner rather than later.  It's game time yo.  We want this behind us.

Side note about Baby Boy, if you want to pray for him, his name John Frederick.  Freddie for short.  After his great-grandfather.

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Tomorrow

Tomorrow is a big day.  7:30AM the team of specialists meet and during their meeting will review all of what they know so far about Ella.
I'm already starting to freak out.  I need to find peace to make it through today and until her Dr calls which I am anticipating her call sometime tomorrow.

At 10:40 I see my OB.  I feel pretty much like nothing is happening.  Actually, I still feel physically better than I have my entire prgnancy.  I'm  not sure if I should allow her to examine me, which in previous history has put me in labor, or let things happen on their own and make it to next week focusing and planning for the next step with my sweet girl.   Then again, labor could be a good distraction......?

If I haven't called you back or responded to texts or messages I'm sorry. I really just don't feel like talking.

Continued prayers for Ella, Jon and I are appreciated.






Tuesday, August 6, 2013

953-_ _ _ _

After Ella's day yesterday, we all came home tired so we rested, gathered our thoughts and came down from the anxiety high we had been on all day.  The kids wanted some "kid champaign" (aka sparkling grape juice) for wine time with grandma.  Jon and I wanted to go furniture shopping..... SO grandma stayed with the kids and had wine with them on the dock while Jon and I left on a date to go furniture shopping and dinner.

Before we even got off base the phone rang 953-2somthing....Dr. Fox.  after the initial "hi how are yous" It went something like this:

"Myself, Dr. Carter, Dr. (what's his name who is the adult urologist at Naval), and Dr. Restaino, all looked at Ella's MRI and it doesn't look like any malignancies any of us have ever seen.  I think that is a good thing.  I even sent it up to 4 of my colleagues in Pittsburgh that I studied under and they too have never seen anything like it.  This is good, but also doesn't tell us what it is, and doesn't mean it isn't malignant.  So my question for you is has Ella ever had any trauma to her kidney, falls, kicks, etc that you can think of?  (no) What about exposure to tuberculosis or other high fevers etc.....(not that I know of and can remember except 1 around age 3 which was 104.5 and I took her into the ER, didn't last long) Does she take naps?  (no)  So the next thing is as you know, on Thursday my team of colleagues in the area have agreed to look at Ella's images and we will gather their input.  We won't have a conclusion or timeline until next week when blood work comes back along with urine sample, both of which I'm expecting to be normal.  When we have all the input, we will determine our game plan.  By the looks of the MRI we may not have to go in as invasively as we thought and may be able to go in laproscopicly for the biopsy and if we have to change our plan during surgery we will be ready to do that.  It is still looking like the only way to know what it is, is to go in, and we have to do that in case it is something infectious, or malignant.  In the mean time, call me if she has any mysterious fevers or feels bad."

I'm so glad she called and let us know what they are thinking now rather than waiting until next week.  I'm still nervous.  But the initial "It's not any malignancy that any of us have ever seen" is glued to the hope I find in Ella not being sick or showing symptoms of anything being wrong.  She too has a 7 year old and completely understands we are anxious.

Thanks for the continued prayers!  We are getting closer to answers.

11 more days until my due date "operation get this baby out" is about to get serious.

Love,
Em